Monday, September 26, 2011


I was out today unusually window shopping.  My first stop, DSW.  Not to look for some cute flats to wear out on the town, nope.  I was looking for a pair of totally comfortable and completely practical for my day to day school photography job.  Did they have my size?  Nope.  I didn't even browse the shelves for a suitable replacement.  I just left, dejected and disappointed, destined to order online and overpay for shipping. 

Before heading back to my car I thought I would stop in at Home Goods.  You know, maybe to replace that bath rug that is almost in shreds, one more wash and it may just disintegrate in the dryer.  I wandered around for 20 minutes looking at all the stuff.  Such beautiful things for every room in your house!  Your house, not my house.  I picked up a couple of things only to set them down again thinking, I don't need that or that doesn't go with anything in my house I already have, etc.  I find shopping in stores like that to be quite overwhelming.  Again, I left empty handed which is fine because I really didn't have any free money to spend.

As I was walking to my car I spotted a gorgeous woman walking into the DSW.  I'm fairly certain she wasn't looking for practical shoes, and then at the same time this word hit me right in the face. 


I'm plain.  Dull.  Colorless.  Drab.  I looked down at my old jeans that were just small enough to be too tight, the only T-Shirt I have I think looks good on me and silver flats that were cute 3 years ago.  My purse was a hand-me-down from a coworker.  I'm not talking money here either people.  I just don't invest the time in  myself that I should.  Yes, some extra spending money would make it easier to pick up some fun clothing or accessories but with my shopping phobias I don't think it would help all that much.  

I'll try and be brighter tomorrow.


L. Merical said...

I have become such an advocate for plain janes everywhere! Now I 100% of the time opt to be casually comfortable and be able to walk a few miles to the store/bar/lake and walk back without feeling like my feet are blistered and my thighs are rubbed raw. If you think happiness comes from a well put together outfit; girlfriend your priorities are out of wack. Look around: you have two handsome little boys, a loving husband, a house that you own and (drum roll, something I NEVER thought I would take for granted) a job. You are amazing and talented and I miss you. If I were there I would take Bubblegum and Lollipops out for shopping lunch and we'd punch this fear of yours in the face.
Love you B2!

Danifred said...

I'm with you- no fancy shoes, nothing exciting going on here. I'm just happy to get my hair washed when it needs to be cleaned. I think there is something to be said for what we accomplish outside of just being "cute"- two kids are plenty of cuteness for me.

Rebecca @ Unexplained X2 said...

Gah...introspection is such a bitch, huh? I go for hints of glitter...silver flats? You win!

DSW is overrated anyway.

However, since your last haircut rant, I do agree that you (and all of the rest of us) need to spend more time on yourself...however you want.

Patty O. said...

Oh, boy, can I relate to this! I never buy anything cute for myself. We are strapped for money, and also I don't want to buy clothes until I finally lose this extra weight, which doesn't seem likely. I hate shopping, though, so that makes it hard, too.

TS said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TS said...

I read this when you first posted it and have been meaning to respond.
1. From the photos of yourself you seem to be quite attractive. You shouldn't be so critical of yourself.
2. You need to invest more time in making yourself happy. It's not just important for yourself, it's important for your family too. You don't want them to feel guilty later on that they were the ones that prevented you from being happy b/c you were too busy taking care of them to be happy yourself, and you also don't want to set an example for your boys that in the future they should sacrifice their happiness b/c they are too busy taking care of others.