Sunday, January 9, 2011

Not a Good Day

Today was not a good day.  It started off bad and continued to head in the wrong direction the entire day.  The boys, particularly Puck, were not listening and doing too much misbehaving for the limited amount of patients I had in me today.

I can't figure out what the shift is here, but things have certainly shifted in a different direction.  What happens to little boys when they turn 6?  I can't figure out if I'm mad or if my feelings are just hurt.  I know for certain that I am frustrated.

What happened to my Puck?

I am having a big problem with him listening and what's worse, respect.  That's right, R.E.S.P.E.C.T. 

He is in the mode where he is determined to do what HE wants at all costs. 

And it's driving me up the freakin' wall!

I love my son.

Puck in the hospital a day after his birth.
I remember the second I laid eyes on him and how shocked I was at how big he was (9lbs, 7oz).  I remember when it was just him and me on maternity leave all that time ago.  I remember talking to him all day as if he could understand what I was saying.  I remember being afraid to bathe him, for fear he would slip under the water.  Hubs did all the bathing the first month or so...
I remember rocking him and nursing him on cold winter nights in a dark and silent house while watching out the window at the half built homes that were going up all around us.
I remember the last time I stuffed him in the infant car seat and he was so big I knew it would be the last time. I remember carrying him on my hip...and I think that's what I miss the most.  That, or maybe how he used to say, "Up on Mama!" when he wanted me to pick him up.  I remember applesauce, first steps, and exploding diapers...

Now here is this big kid, with a big kids hair cut, and big feet.  I missed the change.  I missed when he ceased being a toddler and became, a kid?

I don't want to be at odds with him until he turns 18. He's only 6... I hope this is a phase.  I hope I can get through it and still be a good parent to him.   I miss my baby and it makes my heart ache.

9 comments:

Rebecca said...

This sucks...I can only say that I am learning a lot from this 1-2-3 Magic book. I have a friend of mine who still uses it with her 13-year old. It takes away a lot of the bargaining, negotiating, freaking out behavior on our part (which can escalate any situation) and is also supposed to be able to traverse many different ages.

That is the end of the part of our program where I offer "unsolicited advice."

We're never always going to get along with our kids, but it's just hard when you hit yet another molehile, right?

Angie said...

They grow way too fast.

T said...

I have these same periods with C. It will pass, then you'll have another. I think it's natures way of preparing us for when they strike out on their own.

For the Love of Naps - Sarah said...

We are going through the same thing with Charley or similar I should say. He is bossy and tattling on his brother. He is full of threats.."Well I'm never going to play with you." and it is driving me banana's too. At our big brother class they handed out a sheet that gave some descriptions of different ages and I think it hit the nail on the head. I will have to find it and post it later today on my blog. I wonder if you will find yourself nodding like I did. Good luck! Take pause and try and give yoruself time to breathe before reacting. That is what I am trying to do.

Danifred said...

Girl, I so feel you. I have a post in my head about this exact same issue with Tot. It's frustrating and makes me bonkers.

Ashley said...

they do grow WAY too fast :( ...

On a different note, your blog is one of my faves to read... so I am passing this "award" along to you :)
http://ryanashleymaeve.blogspot.com/2011/01/oh-sweet-monday.html

Driven To Distraction said...

I am wondering how much of his behavior is coming from kindergarten and the influence of other kids, because we seem to have a lot of this stuff going on in our house as well. I agree with Rebecca about 1-2-3 Magic - earning or having priveledges taken away is a big deal for C.ooper. Hang in there - it has to get better, right?!

*Jess* said...

oh, been there, too! Big hugs to you!

fiddlehead said...

Yep....I hear you. I am there right now with my 7 year old. He really knows how to push my buttons. Not exactly sure what I should do next....trying to push through with love, patience and consistency. Not always easy. Here is what I often say to myself during those really rough moments..."When someone is at their least lovable is when they are needing love the most".
That always helps me.