Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Keep on Moving

OK. I've lost 2 pounds but I have no idea what I weigh. Seeing the numbers on the scale was becoming demotivating. Hubs has been looking at the scale for me and last week I lost 2 pounds. Woo Hoo. I went for a walk/job tonight and felt ok. I just find running to be so painful. My body feels like it's 500 pounds and my heart and lungs feel like they will burst.

On Monday night I tried Zumba. That was interesting, not sure if I liked it or not! STAY TUNED:)

Go Puck! Mama is so proud!

Puck has made the next step up in TKD! Here are some of my favorite photos from the event as he receives his White Stripe Belt:)

Monday, April 26, 2010

Zumba - My Review

I tried a Zumba class tonight. It was a great cardio workout but at times I felt like I had 4 feet. I wish the music had been a little more hip hop and a little less latin but I guess that's what Zumba is.

So there I was with a whole class of suburban moms of all ages doing moves like the cha cha and walk like an egyption. I'm trying to get the moves down...lots of hip shaking, butt shaking, etc, and I find myself wondering...when did I lose my sexy? I know I have hips, I know I used to be able to shake 'em pretty good. Now, I feel like those joints no longer know what it means to "shake your booty"!

I'll have to go back next week to see if my hips remember anything from all those bar-hopping, clubbing days of my past. I will find my sexy, damnit! Anything to lose weight;)

Feeling Like Me

It feels good to say that I'm feeling like me again.

Everything seems to be working in as much harmony as a full-time working mom can ask for. My outlook on life is positive and optimistic and the laundry is almost completely done. It also helps the HUBS let me sleep in on Sunday and I woke up to a sparkling clean Fridge (you know, on the inside)!

Summer is coming and that means more trips to the beach and lazy weekends at the pool with my family. I can't wait to take Neo on his first trip to the bay to play in the water. He is going to LOVE it!

Everything just seems to be settling down, I feel like that bubble inside a level that sort of ebbs and flows back and forth before settling in the center.

Now if I could only drop 30 pounds....;)

Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Up's and Down's of Motherhood

I yell too much. I know it. Some days I'm so frustrated because it feels like I am powerless to control the antics of Muffin and Puck. What's worse it's that they seem to feed off each other. Each escalating whatever situation is disrupting the day.

Why is it my boys that seem deaf to my warnings and words? Why is it always my boys that are running and jumping when others just sit there like little bumps on logs? Why whenever I'm out in public with both boys I feel like the eyes of society are looking at me and shaking their collective head.

I'm a good mom. I try to be. I try to teach them values. I try to get them to follow the rules. Some of the defiance has to be personality right? It couldn't be entirely my fault could it?

I feel like moms with what I view to be "easy" children look down on me like I'm not doing it as good as they are. When in truth I know they couldn't last one day in my shoes.

I love my boys. I wish that they would just mind me better. I know they don't know it but it hurts my feelings when they don't listen or when they talk back. It feels some days like they are walking all over me. It's exhausting. I'm trying to be tougher, without the yelling because I don't want to be known as "that mom".

Sometimes the pressure I feel from other moms for my boys to behave or act a certain way is just too much. I wish everyone could see how sweet and wonderful they really are when it's just me and my boys...

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Puppy Progress

So far, so good. Neo is adjusting well to life in a house with 2 crazy boys. He loves going for walks, although he likes to walk circles around you so caution stepping is necessary so as not to fall flat on your face.

I could walk through the pet store for hours. I am in complete awe at the sheer number of products one can acquire for their pet these days. I have to resist the urge to buy all the latest doggie items. The "Poop Bags" as Puck like to call them were deemed a necessity as I prefer walking down the street with a neat little fluorescent green bag then an oversize Target leftover bag that may or may not have holes in it. When it comes to poop, I want to know my bag is fully operational!

Crating at night is tough. He is doing well and everything I read says that this is the best way to go. He barked at bedtime for about 10 minutes. It reminded me of having an infant when all is quiet until the last 30 seconds before you drift off to sleep and they are up again. Up early the last 2 days to walk my newest "baby". He is a sweetie though, and deserves all the attention I can give him.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Our New Labradoodle is here!!!!!

We did it! We finally got our puppy! Here he is...a 4 month old Labradoodle:) He is a doll baby and right now his name is Neo. I'll let you know if that name sticks. Today has been a very big day for him. An hour ride to his new house, a collar and leash for the first time and a crate. He is adjusting well and hopefully his appetite will pick up tomorrow as he gets more comfortable with us. I think he will be a great friend for many, many, years to come.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

My Heart on my sleeve and a Puppy

I wear my heart on my sleeve. Good, bad, ugly, or indifferent, it all shows like a fashion statement across my face. I've always been that way. I think disappointment affects me more than any other emotion I can think of.

The animal rescue leagues make it really hard to get a dog. Honestly, I think they may be the reason there are so many animals that need good homes. The process you have to go through is ridiculous. To make a long story short even though my application was accepted and our home check went fine, they wouldn't allow us to adopt the puppy we had already met because I have a 3 year old. That's it. That's the only reason. I will no longer be trying to rescue a dog. They made me cry. They said I could adopt an older dog. Blah, Blah, Blah. I've been moping around for 2 days.

Then today I found a Labradoodle, 4 months old from a breeder and the dog was in our price range. She sent me a photo, we are in love. Did I mention it's a Labradoodle? Here he is...
Hubs said I could go pick him up tonight but the lady never got back to me. I'm praying that we can pick him up tomorrow. Please cross your fingers for me....The Labradoodle (Lab/Poodle Mix) is our first choice breed...a family dog that doesn't shed!

I bought a collar and a leash, just in case she calls back....I'll be ready to go. Please send lucky puppy thoughts our way.

I don't get it.

I don't get it. My Hubs really doesn't get it sometimes. I love him, I really do, but we look at the world completely differently.

It's frustrating for me that in my opinion he gets to take time away from me and the kids to run, bike, chat with friends, run errands, etc. I don't get the same luxuries.

He got really sick on Friday and ended up in the ER. Everything turned out fine, thank goodness but I had to deal with 2 major events with the kids including the school Art Show and T-Ball Opening Ceremonies and 1st game of the season. He didn't get home until mid day on Saturday and was understandably exhausted and honestly, so was I.

I'm so glad that Sunday is here. We had nothing planned and I thought I could finally tackle mount laundry. He wants to go pick up some new clothes and since I recently got some for myself I told him to go alone. When he got back we were supposed to have lunch. I heated up some soup, like he asked. He disappeared and I ate alone. He had wondered over to a neighbors and was chatting it up. Fine.

I'm really bummed out today about not getting to adopt the puppy I wanted from the rescue league so I'm probably making more of it then necessary...
I try to take Muffin upstairs with me to take a nap. I was so sleepy and thought a quiet Sunday, why not? A nap just sounded so fabulous. When Muffin decides he wants to play more then sleep I tell Hubs the situation and that I'm going to take a nap and Muffin is coming downstairs with him. He gives me that Puppy Dog look and says, "Oh I was going to go running with the guys."


After I've done 10 loads of laundry and emptied and loaded and emptied the dishwasher again. Made lunch, cleaned lunch up, vacuumed the stairs and dealt with the kids.


It hurts me when he says things like I'm selfish. I don't think I am selfish. I feel like I put everyone's needs above my own.

I guess I'm just frustrated and complaining today.

The puppy story is another post and I don't feel like writing it right now.

Monday, April 12, 2010

The Great Family Dog Search

I have been reading everything I can on dogs, breeds, adopting etc...I originally wanted a Pug. My best friend has one and we adore it. As a matter of fact, we'll be pet sitting this weekend for Mug, the Pug!

We have finally started discussing how a dog would benefit our family (sorry Danifred). I've been through breed after breed and filled out tons of applications to adopt from a rescue league, which is RIDICULOUS by the way. It's no wonder there are so many dogs that need homes. They make the process quite difficult and slow...I also have a funny story I'll save for another time...

Anyway, we've ended up with this choice. It's the one we both agree on...

It's a Labradoodle. You know, half lab, half poodle. They usually don't shed, big plus, and are great family dogs.
I had a positive conversation tonight with a breeder and I'm hopeful we can get a pup for the price that meets out budget.
I'm excited and so hopeful that this one thing will go my way...please cross your fingers for me!

Ultimate Blog Party 2010

I've been really missing out on blogland lately. Life is keeping me pretty busy. I stumbled upon this...

and I thought, well that looks like fun! Come join the Ultimate Blog Party with 5 Minutes for Mom.

So about me...I am a mid 30's, full-time working mom to two wild, crazy, and lovable little boys! I am a wife to Hubs and a pretty good one he would say except I can be quite forgetful. My blog is about how I juggle all of this along with starting my own photography business.

Here's a quick snapshot of my life...warning, it's gross.

Last night I was having a pity party about my 30lbs weight gain over the past 6 months. I finally get to bed and I'm sure Hubs was frustrated because he couldn't cheer me up about it. Before I even get to fall sleep my 5 year old wakes up from a bad's very unusual and he won't fall back to sleep. He ends up in bed with us but Hubs is snoring so freaking loud that we retreat back to my sons room. We fall sleep there because it's so nice and quiet...

I am awakened some time later by a sound that only a mother could here in her sleep. I bolt upright to see my sleeping son (Puck) throwing up over the edge of his bed. I screetch to wake him up. We get up and I move the bed away from the wall...

OMG. I think I said that out there is one large neat pile of puke that ran down the wall and landed in one neat pile as he vomited. OMG, again. I clean it all up. We go back to bed. I get in my bed this time and eventually my baby ends up there with me. Hubs gets up to check on him and finds more puke in Puck's bed. So that means he threw up and then came and got into my bed. I get up, again. I changed the sheets, again. I put him back in his bed, again. I go back to sleep again.

No school for Puck today. A trip to the doctors office for him and the vet for our cat. Various other errands too. Did I mention that Monday's are my days off from work. Boy, it's shaping up to be a great day.

Sorry to gross you out, it usually smells much nicer around here!





Sunday, April 11, 2010

Sunday Snapshots - Motion

Here is this weeks Sunday Snap Shots Photo! I hope you will link up and play. Please grab the button and post your photos of Motion!

Friday, April 9, 2010

Friday Night Leftovers & Friday Fragments

Please show Danifred some love by linking up! Then go link up with Friday Follow at One 2 Try!
*I want a dog. Hubs says Ok so I hit the ground running. It's the only way I know how. Within hours I have deternmined what breed, age, size, and place I want to get it. I have already missed out on several great opportunities because Hubs doesn't like to work that fast. He prefers to "ease" into things, "AKA Indecisivness".

*While I'm on the Topic of dogs, I'm tired of hearing the pound and rescue groups complain about how many animals need homes, yet they make it so much trouble to get a dog from them. They actually want to come see my house. Really? They let me take my baby home from the hospital and all they wanted to see was a carseat. All this if fine except, I'm ready now and since all these places are basically run by volunteers, it could take months to approve me. If I was a dog I would now go lay in a corner and lick my you-know-what.

*Laundry. WTF. It's taking over! It's not only clothes. It's towels and rugs and more clothes. It makes me seriously grumpy. Even when all my clothes are clean...I still don't have a damn thing to wear with this extra 30+ pounds I've packed on. Super depressing.

*This morning I get in the car and it stinks! It hasn't been "fresh" for days now so I finally investigate...any guesses?
....Sippy Cup. Under the seat. Milk, or at least it was...YUCK!

MckLinky Blog Hop

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Tired of Fighting

I feel like I have to fight for everything I want. This is not a new thing. It was this way growing up and it is still the same way.

I had to fight to join the Colorguard in High School.
I had to fight to date the boy I was with.
I had to fight to quit swimming.
I had to fight to go way to college.
I had to fight to join a sorority.
I had to fight to study abroad.
I had to fight to take my first job....

I had to fight the fight of my life to get married.
Once married, I had to fight to buy our first house and then our second house.
I had to fight to change jobs.
I had to fight to get the car I wanted.

and these are just the big things.

I'm so tired. I'm tired of asking and pleading. I wish someone would just ask me what I want.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


When I got on the scale this morning I just wanted to cry. Since the last time I weighed in, about 2 weeks ago, I have gained 5 pounds. How is that possible? I mean I guess I ate too much and didn't exercise enough. That being said, I still can't believe that 5 pounds could appear out of no where just like that.

I'm feeling like a different person in this body and not at all like myself. It impacts how I feel in my skin. I feel less confident and wish I could wear all the cute spring dresses I have in my closet that I wore last year.

I feel ugly and I feel sad. Unfortunately, I also feel completely demotivated.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Sunday Snapshots - Color

Since it's Easter today I bet finding photos all about color will be no problem. I hope you'll find a few minutes to play with me. Happy Easter to you and your families:)

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Fix-It-Friday's - I Heart Faces

In my continuing efforts to learn and improve my editing skills I am participating in this great meme:)

Original Photo

My Fix - Using Apple's Aperture 2

Visit I Heart Faces for lots of photography fun and to see the other entries.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Friday Night Leftovers

Please go and link up your leftovers with the witty Danifred! You should also check out Friday Fragments with Mrs. 4444! It's like a 2-for-1! Happy Weekend Everyone:)

*I'm happy to report I got off my lazy rump this week and exerciesed 3 days in a row. I've got to drop some pounds and fast or me and the scale...well, let's just say there will be a scene in my bathroom!

*So excited that this weekend looks like a nice Spring Weekend. I'm ready to get my hands dirty and plant some annuals in my front garden

*I wish I had the time and the talent to make all these supe cute and adorable Easter Treats and crafts. I'm not and I don't. Fortunately, I can fill those plastic eggs full of candy like a champ!

*Puck is growing up before my eyes at lightening speed. Sometimes I see him and I have to stop and try to memorize the moment so I don't forget how he was when he was 5. Not that Muffin isn't growing just as fast but he's still a tot. Puck is leaving that tot era and moving up to serious big kid status. It's so scary!

*Please come back on Sunday for my photomeme "Sunday Snapshots". I missed a couple of weeks and I apologize! This sunday's theme will be COLOR! I hope you will come and post all those colorful Easter and Spring Photos!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Weight-Loss & Technology

Click HERE to go to my recent Weight Loss Post:) If you are actively trying to lose weight please follow me at Weight Loss in Chaos!

Weight-Loss & Technology

Ok so I am an iPhone lover. Today I used 2 new apps: Map My Run and ShapeUp. Map My Run logs your run/walk route and ShapeUp tells you the max calories you can have in a given day depending on your BMI and weight loss goals. This got me thinking...what kinds of technology are you using to track calories and weight loss goals and progress?

By the way, while running (mostly walking) tonight I felt like a Hyper-Ventilation Elephant. I really hate running!