Wednesday, December 1, 2010

30 Something Lament

...and just like that I'm in a funk.

It's quiet in the house with Hubs at the Gym and the boys sleeping so I thought I would get some thoughts out of my head.  I went back to work today after an extended Thanksgiving weekend at home with Puck and Muffin.  I like it, that is I LOVE being home with them.  I love waiting at the bus stop with Puck, I love bargaining with Muffin to wear the shirt I have picked out for him, I love drinking 3 cups of coffee in my kitchen with the Today Show playing in the background while I load the dishwasher and trip over Mr. Potato Head pieces scattered across the floor, all with the dog under my feet.

I think I always feel this way when I get a long break from work and spend any amount of quality time at home with my husband and the kids.

I'll never be a stay-at-home-mom.  I'll never be able to afford it.  We are a 2 income household and always will be.  In another 2 years Muffin will be off to Kindergarten too and I will have missed so much time with them while I was sitting in traffic and kissing ass to bring home a paycheck.  Don't get me wrong, I have a great job and I am so lucky to have the hours and pay that I have...but in the back of my mind I just know I would give it all up if I could to be a mom 100% of the time.

By 5:00 I'm tired, they are tired, Hubs is tired...shit even the dog is passed out on the couch.  I know this feeling will pass in a few days...hey it's already Wednesday, right?

I've also been grappling with my weight, yes still, and my age...

You know you've just about reached your mid 30's when...

  • You actually get how the term "Crows Feet' was coined and can see the proof each and every freakin' time you look in the mirror.
  • You were never really into wearing make-up, lipstick and lip gloss just seemed more of a hassle the way it rubs off on every glass you sip or cheek you kiss except that now it seems almost a requirement since your lips are just about completely void of any color whatsoever.  Huh?
  • Eyelashes.  What eyelashes?  They are actually disappearing, I didn't even know that was possible...uggg.
  • Muffin Top.  Period.
 I thought I would cheer myself up with some hot tea and a PB&J, a little comfort food.  Friday will be here before I know it:)

2 comments:

Rebecca said...

I feel ya! I'm 36 and I see that stuff every single day...I do wear makeup every day though and have since I was 13. Maybe it's a Long Island thing...I just can't leave the house without makeup. Enjoy your coffee...it is so much nicer in your own kitchen!

Danifred said...

I have started wearing make up in the past 2 weeks. True story. I feel so old these days.