Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Help for Muffin

I don't know where to go next. As some of you may remember I had Muffin evaluated for language delays a while back. Nothing has changed. I try to ignore it but it's true. While he has a vast vocabulary he isn't putting words together to form phrases or paragraphs. You can't carry on even a simple conversation with him the way most 3 year olds can.

He will say 2 and 3 word phrases like...
"Where is Puck?"
"Want Yogurt."
"Go Pee."
"Watch Thomas."

He can look up on his wall and spell his name because we've taught him to do it.

He eats hardly anything and refuses to try anything he doesn't like the appearance of...

Pancakes, plain
Waffles with Cream Chees
Drinkable Yogurt
Pizza, Occationally
Nutrigrain Cereal Bars
Dry Cheerios
Gold Fish or other crakers

He throws temper tantrums that can last 20 minutes or more. He will kick, hit, and scream when he is mad. If it's his brother's turn to let the dog out of his crate, Muffin with absolutely go crazy that he didn't get to do it. It's impossible to reason with him and explain that it's not his turn. Time outs are ineffecitve and he is frustrated easily.

He is also lovable and very sweet. He gives kisses and likes to cuddle. He is also potty trained during the day and olny needs pull-ups at night.

I feel like he is still two years old with no end in sight. The Child Find Evaluation basically said he is very smart and is manipulating me. I believe that is true but I don't believe that is the whole story. There is something that is not clicking for him.

Where do I go? Any advice from someone who has been there? Any ideas of what kinds of issues I should be looking at or asking the doctor about?


JillAileenJones said...

Any child with different issues can be very smart. My daughter struggles in school and she does not have a learning disability but a short term memory issue that until she has learned something new and has a total grasp of it she can have a 100 one day 45 the next day on the same subject-she is smart but this is so frustrating to all of us. We are having her re-tested somewhere else now because she seems to be worse with this lately and we want to make sure when we was tested 3 years ago that something wasn't missed then.
I have a friend and they found out she was very intelligent but there was something in the transmitters in her brain when she heard things it was not connecting right and so she was hearing only parts of things.
What all was he tested for? It sounds a little like to me (also a good friend with a son-like her son) who was told he has a mild form of ADHD which in boys can make them more aggressive (temper) things of that nature. I don't know but my two year old daughter has all of a sudden started throwing temper tantrums when she doesn't get her way-all 4 of mine have done that around this age-she is very verbal and vocal but they still get frustrated I think because they don't know quite how to express everything. I bet that is more of it for him if he is frustrated over not expressing himself-I hope and pray that you can find answers for him and for you.
Not that I was any help-but I would go with your gut instincts on this-I think I would get a second opinion just to be sure. I wish I had earlier with my daughter-it only gets harder the older they get.
Let us know what happens.

Sara said...

You should try reading/ contacting Shell at The Things I Can't Say... her blog is amazing, and her middle son had some developmental delays. Here's a link for you....

I'm sure everything's fine, but will keep your family in my thoughts

Rebecca said...

Stay strong, but if you really think it's more than manipulation, have you considered behavioral counseling? I can't remember (b/c the Crazies have mushed my brains again today), but is he in any kind of school program?

I'm sending the Crazies this Fall when they're 2 and I'm hoping that the consistency and routine will also help them along with this lovely 2-year old behavior.

I agree with Sara...Shell's blog is great.

Go with your gut...if you think it's more, do more. You know your kid.

Danifred said...

Tot was/ is a very tough toddler. She was/is very routine based, needed a TON of structure and always, always, always needs choices.
I think that as a 2nd child, it's easy to not HAVE to formulate sentences because you have an older sibling speaking for you. And, it's frustrating because you see an older sibling doing all the things you THINK you should be able to do.
If you want ideas (and I don't want to be an assvice giver), I'd love to share with you.
Schedules, choices, consistency were the keys for us.

*Jess* said...

Any "professional" that claims your child is manipulating you after only being around your child for a few short minutes is not doing their job. They cannot tell if that really is the case without careful hour long observation and evaluation.

I had the same concerns about my son's language. By 24 months old, kids should be able to put two words together and also to convey their wants and needs. By 3 years old, more conversational speech should be emerging. Speech therapy can only help, never hurt.

BTW, you are your child's best advocate. Get a referral to a Developmental Pediatrician from your regular doctor. Take a list of everything you are concerned about (tantrums, eating issues, social development, receptive speech, expressive speech, any repetitive motions, any "quirky" behavior) and just let them evaluate.

Lots of boys have speech delays. And they get corrected with help!

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

I have to agree with Jess in noting that the person who came to evaluate his speech made a very quick judgement based on a very limited amount of time with him! I also agree that a trip to the pediatrician and/or a referral to a Developmental Pediatrician is a good place to start.

A lot of the behaviors that you describe are things that we dealt with/ are still dealing with with Cooper. Preschool has been the biggest help to date, as has lots of consistency, 1-2-3 Magic, lots of choices, loss of priveledges/consequences for bad behavior and the earning of priveledges for good behavior, and (as hokey as it sounds) cutting artificial dyes out of his diet (specifically red dye #40). And I know how hokey that last one sounds, but for him, it makes a HUGE difference!

The fact that he refuses certain foods based on appearance and/or texture makes me wonder if he doesn't have a little bit of a sensory processing issue, and could certainly be worked with.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Marie said...

I am a big believer in going with you gut instinct. If you believe there could be more going on with Muffin than push. Also just because he eval'd okay earlier doesn't mean he will now. You could have him eval'd by a developmental pediatrician. Many children, boys in particular, have speech delays and they need just a little jumpstart to get them back on track. You can take him to speech therapy on your own, even if he doesn't meet Early Intervention doesn't pick him up. It may very well be covered by your health plan. Good luck!