Sunday, April 18, 2010

I don't get it.

I don't get it. My Hubs really doesn't get it sometimes. I love him, I really do, but we look at the world completely differently.

It's frustrating for me that in my opinion he gets to take time away from me and the kids to run, bike, chat with friends, run errands, etc. I don't get the same luxuries.

He got really sick on Friday and ended up in the ER. Everything turned out fine, thank goodness but I had to deal with 2 major events with the kids including the school Art Show and T-Ball Opening Ceremonies and 1st game of the season. He didn't get home until mid day on Saturday and was understandably exhausted and honestly, so was I.

I'm so glad that Sunday is here. We had nothing planned and I thought I could finally tackle mount laundry. He wants to go pick up some new clothes and since I recently got some for myself I told him to go alone. When he got back we were supposed to have lunch. I heated up some soup, like he asked. He disappeared and I ate alone. He had wondered over to a neighbors and was chatting it up. Fine.

I'm really bummed out today about not getting to adopt the puppy I wanted from the rescue league so I'm probably making more of it then necessary...
I try to take Muffin upstairs with me to take a nap. I was so sleepy and thought a quiet Sunday, why not? A nap just sounded so fabulous. When Muffin decides he wants to play more then sleep I tell Hubs the situation and that I'm going to take a nap and Muffin is coming downstairs with him. He gives me that Puppy Dog look and says, "Oh I was going to go running with the guys."


After I've done 10 loads of laundry and emptied and loaded and emptied the dishwasher again. Made lunch, cleaned lunch up, vacuumed the stairs and dealt with the kids.


It hurts me when he says things like I'm selfish. I don't think I am selfish. I feel like I put everyone's needs above my own.

I guess I'm just frustrated and complaining today.

The puppy story is another post and I don't feel like writing it right now.


For the Love of Naps - Sarah said...

Girl! Put the hammer down. Run an errand but go get a coffee and sit and read your book. Being "there" makes it too easy to do it all. You deserve a break. Or sit down tonight and explain your feelings to him. Sometimes guys just don't see it from our perspective. I am crabby for you - you should have gotten the nap. Go to a movie all by yourself or go to a park, put your seat back and take a nap in the car with the sun beating in on you. Escape - you need it!

Rebecca said...

The title of this post should be "He Just Doesn't Get It." Sounds like it's time for one of those "balance talks." We have to have these often b/c we both have things that are important to us that may not even be on the other person's radar. Those "balance talks" really put things into perspective for both people. After all, you are partners and need to communicate as such.

Glad he's okay.

Sorry about the puppy.

Shell said...

Oh, how I can relate!

It's like I feel like I need to ask permission to do something. To make sure he'll be home to take care of the kids.

But, when he wants to do something, he just DOES it. Like play in TWO soccer games today. When he only told me about one. So, instead of being home by 1 like I thought, he came home at 4:30. And is now lounging in bed b/c he's tired.

Chrystal said...

I get it 100% mama. I almost wrote the exact post today.

I am in the same position. After 6 months of 24/7 time and never a night interrupted I am in the boat. I lost it today. :( On facebook and on dh.

I do all of the housework too with no help. I can't even get him to rinse a dish. He says its my job now. But he doesn't do his job 24/7.

OPPS I am taking over, SORRY! I just wanted you to know I understand.

Danifred said...

I go through the same things. I feel like I go, go, go and sometimes it seems like life is so unbalanced.
I don't think any marriage doesn't go through it. At least, I hope we're normal.

JoeyRes said...

I've gone through phases like that with my husband too. We've landed somewhere in the middle where I've had to get over his weekend napping and the fact that I bathe our child while he plays on the computer. He takes care of her for occasional me-time. It's just not a 50-50 split. It's like 80-20. I guess that's not really the middle!

Marie said...

Sorry you're having a rough time of it. My husband and I have the same issue crop up every so often. I find I always have to tell him point blank what I want and need. I feel like I shouldn't have to the end I do b/c it beats getting angry.

Tiffany said...

I've been there too. I was having the same problem today as well. We decided to work in our yard today, I thought how fun! Not! Hubs invites his brother to help and he brings my nephew over. Guess who has to babysit as well as watch their own two? Moi! I was exhausted by dinner time. And the laundry piles were calling my name. And he complained he was tired? What!
I'm with you. Sounds like a sit down talk is in your future. Sorry about the puppy. Hope you get it all worked out. Sorry I wrote so much.

Michelle Leigh said...

My hubs and I aren't the tit for tat type, but in your case dear, you gotta put your foot down! It's all about balance. It should eventually even out in the end but it seems like you are doing an awful lot of giving and no receiving! You deserve some time and all you were asking for was a little nap. When do you get to go run? I'm mad for you! Let us know how this works out!

Messy Mommy said...

I don't get it either!!!! I spent all week taking care of a sick baby. He gets home and says he's going with the guys to a city 4 hours away!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Lindsay said...

You are not selfish. Wanting a little bit of "you" time is necessary! Its one of the main reason that I put Ryan in school twice a week. Because I know that its good for him but it gives me some time to just do what I need to do.

Hopefully by now you guys have talked about it and worked it out. And if not you always have my email if you just need to vent : )

Lindsey said...

Girl, I am totally with you. Tonite my hubs said he would be home for supper and well now its 10:21 and still no hubs and tommorow he will be worn out from "working late" so he wont want to do anything but just lay on the couch who cares that there is laundry and dishes to be done. Men think they can do what they want to do when they want. and its our jobs to do all everything with no break bc we are SHM. After reading this post, I knew I had to follow your blog. Thanks girl, glad to know Im not the only one that has a hubs like that.