I'm off on Mondays. So tomorrow is my first day back at work after the weekend. I like Monday's because I get to drive my kids to and from school. I always schedule doctors appointments and anything I can on these days. I get to play "Mommy" for a day. I hate feeling like a stranger when I go to their school but I find the moms sort of know each other and I'm on the sidelines. Isn't that so dumb? Obviously these woman know each other because they see each other everyday and I only appear once a week.
These facts never used to bother me. I prided myself on being a working mom. I thought my kids were better off learning how to be independent because I went to work and I wasn't there to coddle them every minute of every day. Before having kids I would have told you that I NEVER wanted to be a SAHM. Wrongly and admittedly, I looked down on those woman because I didn't know what it was like to have children.
That was then, this is now. I know what it's like now. I still work for the same company I did before I was married. I remember being the youngest on staff and working all the time. There are only 2 other moms in my small company with little kids. I have the youngest by a few years. Before Puck was born I held a very high position. When I returned after leave that position had been given away...I worked my way all the way up the company chart and now I have fallen all the way to the bottom. It's a very strange place to be. Now, I have a manager that didn't graduate from college. Well, I did and I can't help it but this bothers me.
I don't want to work there anymore. I have chosen my family over them and therefore feel like I am no longer valued as an employee. Just being there makes me feel like less of a human being.
I don't want to go. Just venting. Thanks for reading....