Tuesday, December 22, 2009

A Personal Note - Beware


I guess marriage, a job, and 2 kids officially makes me an adult. When I was in my teens and twenty's I thought by the time I reached my mid 30's life would be easier. I thought I would have it all figured out. On the contrary and especially over this last year I have determined that I know even less than I did then. As a matter of fact there are many days when I don't even know who the hell I am anymore. It seems as though there are more days where I do something wrong then right. I'm trying but it feels like no one sees and no one cares. This is something I struggle with a lot.

I'm a good person. I want my friends and loved ones to be happy and find peace and joy in their lives. I'm everyone's biggest fan. I want people I come in contact with to know that they are important and that they are loved and that I believe in them. So why is it that I always feel as though I come in last place?

This morning a co-worker came to me with a tissue wrapped gift. I consider her more than a co-worker, she is a friend. She gave me this beautiful hand made scarf that she actually made with her own hands. It's beautiful and it's red and she made my whole month by giving it to me. It's the best gift I can remember getting in a long, long while...

4 comments:

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

Oh, Brandi! I can really empathize with this post and with the feelings that you have - not a single day goes by that I don't have the same exact thoughts. The scarf is beautiful and I can only imagine how amazing it felt to get it. Even though they can't exactly verbalize it, I am sure that your boys think that you hang the sun and the moon and put you at the top of their list.

Brandi said...

Thanks F&F, i needed that...

Danifred said...

That's a beautiful scarf and a beautiful gift :)

MarjnHomer said...

beautiful gift. and my doubt prompt was posted because I watched the movie Doubt last night and it made me think...