Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Babe in Concert - Proud Mama




My sweet first born son, is rough, tough, smart, funny, genuine, sensitive, sweet, and fast. I take it you've heard of fight or flight? Well, in the case of Blake who is typically the life of the party, he surprisingly DOES NOT LIKE TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION. I have a video of every Christmas "Concert" that he has been in since he was 2 years old...FLIGHT is the word! Screaming, covering ears, crying etc. Last year was my particular favorite. As all the happy 3 & 4 Year Olds sang their holiday songs, my son slowly covered his ears...carefully turned around and slowly made his way through the crowd of kids to the rear of the group; at which point he began wondering around the upper Alter while all the other kids sang their hearts out. Did I mention the drum set? I remember thinking, please don't let him find drumsticks back there...eeek! Don't even ask me about last years Preschool Graduation ceremony...

My expectations for this year were, well honestly I didn't have any, but last week out of the blue he announces that he is going to sing this year. I was surprised and excited. I tried to encourage this motivation without making too big a deal out of it either, in case he changed his mind.

The day arrived. I had to go into work as usual. Unfortunately preschools don't really cater to working moms, I mean seriously what are they thinking? Only having school for a half day, planning all events that require participation smack dab in the middle of the work day. I'm kidding of course...but only partially;) Did I mention I work 30 miles from the school, yep. In order to see my baby deliver on his promise to sing I had to drive 120 miles, to and from work twice in one day, woo hoo. It turns out to be kind of a busy day and I'm feeling guilty for just about everything. I rush out of a meeting to find stand still traffic on the beltway...damnit! I have to rush rush rush and drive fast enough to get there but not too fast to get a ticket or I know I'll never make it. I'm clenching the wheel with white knuckles all the while feeling my stress level rise to new heights. I'm thinking that I CAN'T be everything to everybody. I can't be everywhere all the time...therefore someone is always going to be disappointed. I'm late, I'm late, red light, red, light, slow ass pick up truck, get out of my way, Mad Mama coming through. I get there 4 minutes late, which you know these events only last 15 minutes. I practically leap out of the car and go running across the packed parking lot, in high heel boots no less...stupid boots. I reach the door and it's locked, damnit! I have to go around the long way. I enter the sanctuary of the church where the concert is being held just as the kids are lining up...I made it...

I jump down in the front row on the floor, camera in hand...heart pounding. They start to sing, and to my utter joy and amazement so does Blake. It's all I can do not to cry. He sees me and he knows that the huge smile on my face is for him. He told his teacher that his singing was his Christmas present for me. In that moment and all the stressful moments I have as a working mom fade away, it's all worth it for my children.

2 comments:

Danifred said...

Horray for Blake! You should be proud :)

Melissa said...

Way to go Blake! Way to go Brandi!